


You Don't Believe That

by Amarxlen



Series: Lucky0Stars Collections [14]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, Riku & Terra friendship, Riku Angst, Riku Angst (Kingdom Hearts), kingdom hearts re:mind spoilers, lucky0stars, more interactions we wanted in KH3, remind spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22822129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amarxlen/pseuds/Amarxlen
Summary: It's not easy being the strong one all the time, but thankfully, Riku finally has a mentor he can turn to when the pressure gets to be too much.~~~A Gummiphone call between Terra and Riku during the search for Sora.
Relationships: Riku & Terra (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Lucky0Stars Collections [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1308893
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49





	You Don't Believe That

_You Don’t Believe That_

The call had come through during his training, surprising him with its abruptness. While everyone else was doing what they could to find Sora, the Restoration Committee had unanimously insisted that Riku — and only Riku — go get some rest and let them handle things for a while. Riku knew they were right, and they meant well, so he swallowed his irritation and tried to follow their advice. Tried, because it quickly became clear that he wasn’t going to be able to sleep, let alone rest. 

Every inch of him was restless, brimming with that irritation that surfaced whenever he thought about how little progress had been made. He knew everyone was trying their best, he wasn’t angry at them. He was angry that just when things had seemed like they’d be fine, when he’d seen Sora and Kairi on the bent paopu tree and felt such palpable relief, Sora had vanished without a trace and their lives had been torn asunder once more. But really, he wasn’t even angry at all. 

He was sad and scared, and so, so tired of being the one left to pick up the pieces while first Sora, and now Kairi, slept for a whole year. They had to, he knew this, and maybe he deserved to be the one to pick up after them. Maybe he deserved it for setting them on this journey in the first place. He loved them, and he’d never stop, just like he’d never stop trying to save them; but it didn’t change how tired he was. 

No matter how tired he was though, it didn’t stop him from training, and it definitely didn’t stop him from scrambling to answer the call that came through on his Gummiphone. He answered it hastily, blinking a few times in surprise as he steadied the device in his hands. 

“Terra?”

“Were you expecting something else?” Terra grinned at him with an eyebrow raised, and Riku couldn’t help but laugh. The statement had become a running joke between them. At the moment, it was exactly what Riku needed. 

“No,” he said, sobering slightly. If he were completely honest, he might have said he was hoping for Sora. But that wouldn’t help anything. “No, I’m just surprised. We weren’t expecting you back so soon.”

“Soon?” Terra asked. “Time really does move differently in there, huh?”

Riku heard Aqua say something offscreen, though he couldn’t make out the words. Terra looked towards her and grimaced slightly. 

“I know, I know,” he assured her before turning back to Riku. 

“Aqua and Ven are back too?” 

“Yeah. We’re all back, safe and sound.”

Riku felt his shoulders sag at the statement. He hadn’t realized exactly how worried he’d been about the three of them until Terra confirmed they were all okay. It was one weight lifted of the many that still rested on his shoulders. He closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. When he opened them again, Terra was still staring at him, his own expression sober and pensive. Riku already knew the answer, but still he had to ask. 

“Sora?” Saying his friend’s name left a lump in his throat that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times he tried to swallow it down. Terra sighed, but didn’t look away when he answered. 

“No sign of him.” Riku’s gaze fell, fist clenching as Terra continued. “But it’s a big realm. It’s possible we missed him, or that we haven’t covered it all.” Terra paused. “Even Aqua doesn’t know that realm entirely.”

Riku nodded, and Terra fell into silence. Both of them knew that searching the Realm of Darkness aimlessly was probably the least efficient way to look for Sora. Riku had been trapped there himself, for however brief a time that had been, and then been back searching for Aqua, and the realm had seemed to go on forever. In the end, even Sora’s data from Ansem the Wise’s computers and the Organization’s records wasn’t enough to yield anything. Riku still wasn’t entirely sure how computers and data worked, but he had a feeling that finding an answer from Sora’s data had been just as much of a long shot as wandering the Realm of Darkness. 

It had taken them ten years to find Aqua, and by then the darkness had gotten to her. How could it not, after so long alone? Riku couldn’t stop thinking about Sora, alone and unable to return home. He hadn’t thought anything could feel worse than day after day of watching Naminé struggle to put Sora’s memories back together and wondering if his friend would ever wake up. But even then he’d never been able to consider what life would actually be like if Sora didn’t return. It just wasn’t an option. Sora _had_ to come back, if not for Riku or their friends, then for Kairi. 

“We’ll keep looking,” Terra said, interrupting Riku’s thoughts. Riku looked up at him. “We came back to regroup — rest a little and plan our next move. But we all agreed we’d keep looking.”

Riku nodded again, suddenly feeling like he was once again the little kid on a familiar beach, wrapping his fingers around the handle of a mysterious key offered to him by a kind stranger. Terra had assured Riku he was strong, and Riku had meant it when he’d told Terra that he’d kept his promise, but would it ever be possible for him to protect Sora from his own self-sacrificial tendencies?

“Sometimes I wonder if I really am strong enough to protect them. If I’ll ever be.” Terra looked surprised at Riku’s sudden confession, but stayed quiet to let him speak. “They keep running straight into danger and I just let them. Some Keyblade Master.”

Terra stayed silent a moment longer, expression serious and blue eyes heavy. Riku didn’t know what exactly had happened to Terra — or Aqua and Ven for that matter — but he recognized the weight behind Terra’s gaze all too well. It was the same gaze that greeted him at the end of the day, when he was alone and allowed himself to look on the outside the way he felt on the inside. 

“If there’s one thing I learned from Master Xehanort—” 

Terra cut off abruptly, his steady gaze appraising Riku. As if he was worried that Riku might not be able to handle the mention of Xehanort’s name. Or as if he expected judgment from Riku for still referring to Xehanort as a Master. Riku let him, not sure exactly what his own face was revealing to Terra, if anything, but there had always been something about Terra that Riku felt a kinship with. He wanted Terra to be proud of him, to prove to him — and maybe still himself — that Terra had made the right choice, bequeathing the Keyblade to him all those years ago. 

But he also felt like he could be more honest with Terra than even Sora or Kairi. It was a hard lesson learned, that his friends would accept him no matter what, and he had learned it, but Riku also needed somebody who could understand implicitly all of the emotions he’d been left with from his past mistakes. 

Riku didn’t say anything. It was odd, thinking about what Xehanort had been to Terra, Aqua, and Ventus, when all Riku knew of the man was the torment and pain he’d caused. But… he thought he could understand. He imagined it was the same way he felt about Xehanort’s Heartless. It wasn’t that he thought of him fondly, exactly. More like he had accepted the journey that had brought him to this point, and that included Xehanort’s Heartless. Even if he still had some moments so riddled with guilt he could hardly breathe. 

When Terra didn’t continue, Riku nodded. A small smile lifted Terra’s lips before he kept speaking.

“If I learned one thing from Master Xehanort,” he said the name carefully now, like it was a heavy weight, “it’s that nothing is as black and white as it seems.”

“Huh?”

Terra laughed at his confusion before elaborating.

“You already know this — that’s there’s more to light and darkness than meets the eye.” His gaze turned pensive. “Maybe especially darkness. But it applies to other things too,” Terra said, looking back up at Riku. “You’re wondering if you have the strength to protect your friends, but it’s not as simple as that. You knew, when you agreed with Sora’s decision to go after Kairi, that he was following his heart, and you couldn’t stop him from that.”

“Maybe I should have,” Riku interrupted, voice more bitter than he’d meant it to be.

Terra smiled at him sadly and shook his head.

“You don’t believe that. Not really.”

Riku’s gaze jerked back up to the Gummiphone, mouth dropping open slightly. He couldn’t say what it was about the phrase that had him so shaken, only that he suddenly felt as though the rug had been pulled out from under his feet. Like he’d been set adrift in an ocean he couldn’t actually see. Those words; they meant more than what Terra was saying, he just didn’t know how.

“Riku?”

“No,” he finally managed, clearing his throat when his voice came out breathlessly. “I don’t. Sora is who he is _because_ he follows his heart, and… I’ve always wanted to be more like that.” He shook his head and smiled wryly. “I just wish following his heart wasn’t always such a pain for me.”

“Make sure you tell him that when we get him back,” Terra said, laughing again.

“I will. I never even got to chew him out for all the times he decided to nap on us. It’s about time I got around to it.”

“Then we’ll keep looking. We will find him, Riku.”

“Yeah,” Riku agreed. The pair said their final goodbyes, and Riku was left to stare at the Gummiphone’s blackened screen, the faint image of his reflection visible. His fingers tightened around the device. “We will.”


End file.
